NLP
Neuro-Linguistic Programming

for Mental and Emotional Issues

Some clients come to me with issues such as fears/phobias, presentation fears, low self-esteem or anger management but they do not want to handle them via Hypnosis techniques but via NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques.
Inner Potential Hypnotherapy & NLP specialises in these areas: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, low self-esteem, anger management, sexual abuse, and stress and relationship issues and helps clients achieve their goals in a proactive and focused way in four to six sessions.

What is NLP all about?
Neuro-Linguistic Programming has been in existence since Hypnosis came into formal existence but it was the work of pioneering Grinder and Bandler that separated NLP as a therapeutic model in itself; NLP is proactive, solution focused and short term therapy, where goals are aimed to be achieved in four-six sessions.

NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a name that encompasses the three most influential components involved in producing human experience: neurology, language and programming. The neurological system regulates how our bodies function, language determines how we interface and communicate with other people and our programming determines the kinds of models of the world we create. Neuro-Linguistic Programming describes the fundamental dynamics between mind (neuro) and language (linguistic) and how their interplay affects our body and behaviour (programming).

NLP was originated by John Grinder (whose background was in linguistics) and Richard Bandler (whose background was in mathematics and gestalt therapy) for the purpose of making explicit models of human excellence. Their first work "The Structure of Magic" Vol. I & II (1975, 1976) identified the verbal and behavioural patterns of therapists Fritz Perls (the creator of gestalt therapy) and Virginia Satir (internationally renowned family therapist). Their next work Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. Vol. I & II (1975, 1976) examined the verbal and behavioural patterns of Milton Erickson, founder of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis and one of the most widely acknowledged and clinically successful psychiatrists of our times. As a result of this earlier work, Grinder and Bandler formalized their modelling techniques and their own individual contributions under the name "Neuro-Linguistic Programming" to symbolize the relationship between the brain, language and the body. Through the years, NLP has developed some very powerful tools and skills for communication and change in a wide range of professional areas including: counselling, psychotherapy, education, health, creativity, law, management, sales, leadership and parenting.

NLP can be used as a therapy for issues such as weight loss, jealousy/anger issues in couples, social fears, low self-confidence, unwanted habits from nail biting to overeating as well as emotional/mental issues such as depression, panic attacks, self-image, stress, sexual abuse/problems…..some people have understood the why of their behaviour and where the patterns are coming from their past, remote or recent but nevertheless they are still behaving in those same manners and using those same language patterns e.g. “I should…” “I can’t…” “I am not worth…” and NLP is the tool to use to reprogram all those inner language and bodily messages that then take effect on the outer behaviour as well.

NLP for Presentation fears: Top
Often people who are asked to stand up at a meeting or a wedding or a group of people find that although they are ready for the presentation mentally, having prepared for days actually goes blank in their mind. The voice inside is saying “oh my god, I can’t do this; I’m going to be sick; I want to run away”.

This type of message in their nervous system then triggers the “flight or fight” response that causes their body and verbal language to become very heavy and sluggish. They are saying (stammering) the wrong words, their hands are flapping in panic and they don’t know where to look or how to control their voice tremor.

NLP (neuro-linguistic Programming) is all about how our inner language patterns in our nervous system sends messages that then controls our body and voice; we have either modelled fear from someone we knew in the past or we have taught ourselves subconsciously to associate pain and fear with people looking at us or us being the focus of attention. Therefore your nervous system reacts with panic laden words, messages and actions that can create panic, low self-esteem or phobia of being on stage.

Within a few sessions of NLP the client is taught to identify those destructive messages quickly and practice to change them via different techniques of NLP. Once the nervous system associate either neutrality or even pleasure with presentations or public speaking the client finds their bodily reactions are different even if it’s the same stage or same business meeting!

NLP for confidence building/self esteem: Top
NLP for assertiveness skills: some people find that they are confident at work or in their social situations but nevertheless when it comes to say “no” or express their opinions they become passive or aggressive. Thereby they go into silence in a meal if someone said something they did not like or they cannot ask a work colleague to behave differently in a meeting. Or they become angry and shout or swear which then causes them guilt feelings or a bad reputation among friends or at work.

NLP for self-image: you look into the mirror and that inner dialogue starts pestering you so much about the way you look that you cancel the dinner or you reach there in a state of utter tension. The mind by its sheer power of inner dialogue, sensations and physiological states can paralyse human beings so much by creating an inner image of oneself which is self-defeating and deprecating; so many times I have encountered very good-looking people in my NLP practice but it’s no use saying that to them; their inner nervous system’s message is completely the opposite.

NLP is there to help them change that inner language into healthier patterns. Within a few sessions of NLP the client is taught to identify those destructive messages quickly and practice to change them via different techniques of NLP.

NLP for couple relationships: Top
A lot is said in marriage/within partners/couples in love without any words being expressed. Hurt in couple is often expressed in resentful body language or mind games that we play on each other; so the woman asks the man to do the dishes, the man hears himself being ordered around and “forgets” to do them, the woman feels ignored and pushes the caressing hand two hours later, when the man has already forgotten about the incident but she is still holding on to the hurt.

This is a common scenario in couples/marriages, where one partner feel demeaned, criticized or the other feels loaded with all responsibility or not listened to….. often they are doing all of this unconsciously because they have learnt these language patterns both bodily or orally from their own observations of their primary relationships, their parents. They don’t even know they have learnt those nervous tendencies or silence games or aggressive language patterns that only seem to come alive with the person they love the most, until they are in an actual relationship.

NLP is all about recognising these patterns in our inner language, bodily reactions and interactions with our partner. We may have understood in counselling/psychotherapy “why” we behave like this or that but that does not delete the fact that our nervous system could still be playing those same messages thus we are still “behaving” according to the old programming. Mind reprogramming is all about NLP helping you and your partner become aware of all these behaviours, language and interaction patterns and re-learning, re-programming your mind as far as your behaviour in your relationships goes.

NLP for anxiety: Top
All of us feel anxiety in some situation or the other but when that anxiety starts blocking our happiness whether at work or among friends or with the person we love, then it is a debilitating anxiety that needs professional help.

An anxious person will agree that logically he/she knows there’s nothing to fear in social situations or when he/she is given a compliment but at the same time they’ll agree that their inner voice is shouting “you do not deserve to be here; you are not good enough!”

Messages, inner dialogue, inner voice, inner critic, whatever name you choose but that voice can trigger such anxiety in the body and senses that the person prefers never talking to the girl of his dreams or he prefers staying in rather than going out in social situations that creates panic and anxiety.

NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is all about recognising these patterns in our inner language, bodily reactions and interactions with our work or life partners. We may have understood in counselling/psychotherapy “why” we behave like this or that but that does not delete the fact that our nervous system could still be playing those same messages thus we are still “behaving” according to the old programming. Mind reprogramming is all about NLP helping you become aware of all these behaviours, language and interaction patterns and re-learning, re-programming your mind as far as your behaviour in those anxious situation goes.

NLP for children and adolescents: Top
Exams fears, social fears, fear of being bullied, anxiety over divorce/separation, fear of flying/animals etc…..these are common issues in children and adolescents that I have seen in my therapy practice in the last few years.

Children are great examples of how the human mind models and learns behaviour and interaction as well as language patterns from their environment. NLP works quicker with children and adolescents simply because their nervous system is still in the process of integrating those inner messages so they can be helped to delete and replace them quicker. For e.g. a child who talks like this “I cannot pass my exams because I am too slow !” may be convinced and motivated to believe and act otherwise than an adult with a similar inner language, because adults are more rooted in their inner voice’s message; they have had years to practice hearing that inner voice and its messages!!

NLP for anger/stress/aggression: Top
Anger is a valid healthy response in human beings but expressing that anger can be in healthy or unhealthy ways; anger expression is a learnt behaviour that we learn very early on, which is why despite promising himself/herself that she/he will not be aggressive/violent like his/her dad was to him/her, a father/mother finds to their surprise that they are shouting or aggressing the self-image of their child in their critical list of “you should…..”, “you must have….”,”you are never going to be….”

Usually clients mostly agree they feel angry when they feel threatened but the problem is with anger issues these people can feel threatened by minor comments or actions…. In a queue, when the wife says they forgot to call a certain person, when their child is too slow at the dining table. They know rationally these people are not “out to get them” but it feels very much like that to them and even if their logic wants to stop the eruption, their body and voice seems to be listening to some other inner command.

NLP aims to help the client change that inner language of threat, fear of loss of control, fear of being taken advantage of etc… that can keep the nervous system into a state of alarm as if constantly awaiting danger from any corner. Wired into such a state couples or parents may find they are out of control too often for the benefit of their marriage or family. NLP retrains them into a healthier language patterns, bodily response and actions for the future.

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